Virginia Towns We Drove Past, Pt. 2

1. Ladysmith
2. Golansville
3. McDuff
4. Ruther Glen
5. Doswell
6. Gum Tree
7. Heaths Store
8. French Hay
9. Tappahannock
10. Mechanicsville

[p.s. these are all real]

Virginia Towns We Drove Past Yesterday

1. Shirlington
2. Occoquan
3. Dumfries
4. Falmouth
5. Culpeper
6. Spotsylvania
7. Massaponax
8. Thornburg
9. Nancy Wrights Corner
10. Blantons

Some Things I am Taller Than

1. Coffee tables
2. Fruit
3. Most animals (but not bears, horses, or gorillas)
4. Most babies
5. Kitchen appliances except for fridge
6. Park benches
7. My bicycle
8. My roommate Rachel by 1"
9. That pile of newspapers over there
10. Evan when he is sitting down and I am not

Monday Mailbag!

Dear Lonesome Lumberjack,

Does he love me? I want to know! How can I tell if he loves me so?

-Cher


Dear Cher,

It's in his kiss. That's where it is!

***

Dear Lonesome Lumberjack,

Your website is gay.

-Ballz_d33p


Dear Ballz,

Well! I never! In my life!

American Things That Should Have Never Been Exported to Australia

by SOJOURNER, guest blogger

1. KMart
2. Baskin Robbins ice cream (Why not Ben and Jerry's?)
3. Target
4. Rap music (It just doesn't sound right with the Ozzie accent.)
5. The phrase "word to your mother"
6. Payless Shoes (Which you actually don't pay less for, cause they're imported.)
7. Domino's Pizza (Um, is it even good back home?)
8. So You Think You Can Dance: Australia

[Read more about Sojourner's sojourns here.]

Overheard in the A train

College-aged girl, to her friend: Yeah, no, the sublet was cool, or I could tell it was gonna be cool, after we got rid of all the, like, old lady things everywhere, but then she said that we had to keep the landline and pay the bill for it, which, of course, was like, morally...soul-crushing. So I'm not gonna take it. Plus it smelled like old hippies.

To-Do: Tattoos I Want to Get

1. Nicolas Cage's face, life-sized, superimposed on my face
2. Big bug on my eyelid, cuz that's bad-ass
3. Studio portrait of my future family
4. Siskel & Ebert's Thumbs Up / Thumbs Down logo
(on my boobs)
5. Musical score of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin
6. MTA subway map, just for convenience
7. Phone numbers & addresses of ex-boyfriends
8. Chinese character for "ironic"
9. My latest rejection letter from McSweeney's
10. A frowning baby head on my bicep

Celebrities My Boss Has His Arm Around in Photographs Hanging in His Office

1. Bill Clinton
2. Joe Biden
3. Jerry Springer
4. Michelle Branch
5. Casey Kasem

Hi, folks

Apologies for the lapse, there, my dear readers.... After the election and some job-shifting here at the radio, not to mention a full acre and a half of giant redwoods that wasn't going to chop/de-branch/log/float down a river all by themselves, I needed a bit of a breather.

But I would like to share this radio show I produced for Soundcheck, featuring two guests talking about the search for folk music, then and now; namely, by the labels Smithsonian Folkways and Dust to Digital. Featuring some great tunes by Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly, and some amazing gospel tunes that you've almost certainly never heard before. Enjoy, yall! Be back tomorrow with more logs, er, I mean, lists.

Best Things to Say While Putting Your Hand to Your Face

1. I am shocked that you said that!
2. Dios mio!
3. Do I have a fever?
4. Ow, that hit me squarely in the face.
5. The Dow is dropping again.
6. I am scared of that ghost over there.
7. Shh, I am thinking and/or sleeping.
8. My cheeks feel fat.
9. [Yawn]
10. Don't look at me, hide your eyes, for I am hideous.