Best Ways to Change the Subject When a Conversation is Not Going Well

1. Spontaneous weeping/howling/radio sound effects combo
2. "I just remembered that I have to BUY CEREAL!!!"
3. Cat imitations
4. "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are, or where I am, or what my name is. Bye!"
5. Make a gesture towards a hug with the other person, then pick them up, fireman's-carry them to a lake and drop them in it
6. Ask to borrow the other person's chapstick, swallow it, go straight to the hospital
7. Triple-spring backflip (into traffic)
8. Take a 100-dollar bill out of your wallet, point to Ben Franklin, say "That's my Dad", light it on fire
9. C+C Music Factory?
10. "That reminds me of something funny my car said yesterday..."