1. Eating or carrying onion-based food items
2. Nasal laughter or high-pitched squeals
3. Breakdancing in such a way as to make me believe that I am about to get kicked in the face
4. Angry scowling, pacing, growling or shouting or any behavior that reminds me of Lou Dobbs
5. Showing me photos you took of a squirrel eating corn
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