Overheard at the Office

I.)
Man 1, to Computer: Jesus CHRIST! This isn't rocket science!
Man 2, to Printer: Oh, fuck you, printer. Seriously.

II.)
Man: Should I ask a girl out on a date that I have only talked to over email?
Me: Sure, why not.
Man: Yeah. You know what? I'm turning 30, I don't give a fuck anymore.

III.)
Woman 1: Cute shoes!
Woman 2: Thank you!.....Do they match my ulcers?
Woman 1: Hahahaha. Yeah.
Woman 2: Everything goes great with blood!!!
[walks away]
[silence]

[These are real.]