Note: I work at a national radio network. These are real.
I. St. Patrick's Day
Board Operator: Can I drink beer in the studio today?
Programming Director: Weren't you the one who spilled champagne on the studio controls and shorted out the phone system on election night?
Board Operator: God, that happened ONE TIME, okay??
II. Earth Day
Board Operator, to radio host, before show: Okay so for Earth Day, do you want me to get the kid pooping in the bucket?