by JAKE KIRCHNER, guest blogger
1. My friends
2. My fellow Americans
3. In this day and age
4. When I was your age
5. Honest, it wasn't my fault but
6. Stop me if you've heard this one
7. All I'm saying is
8. Never before in the history of mankind
9. You know I wouldn't lie to you
10. I can honestly say, without fear of contradiction, that
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