2008 New Years' Resolutions I Have Not Followed Through On

1. Be taller
2. Stop buying so many pens
3. Ford a river
4. Apologize to Baltimore
5. Learn the internet
6. Wolf-eagle hybrids?
7. Get one of those jobs that pays you in money
8. No more mosquitoes
9. Olympic luge (if there's time)
10. Get groceries