Fever-Dream I Had Last Night That Made Me Laugh When I Woke Up

I brought my old clunky PC desktop to an Apple-store-type help desk, where a stunningly beautiful blonde lady was going to help me repair my computer. After checking things out for a while she shook her head and said that she was sorry, but my anti-virus software did a sweep of my files and found my resume, from which it deduced that I was trying to be an actress, and that the computer diagnostic concluded that I required a nosejob and facelift and spray-tan before it would allow her to do any repairs. "I'm sorry," she said, "I can't override it; you know how anti-virus software is. You're going to have to just do it." And I was sent away with my broken computer in an unwieldy bundle in my arms.